we done this a few weeks ago with Whaea Ariana, it helped us a lot with how to structure our narrative, something I done well is that I described the forest, something I could do better next time is put more describing words in their. we were writing a narrative.
Once upon a time a girl named christy went in the magical sparkly forest at a sunny happy time the forest was filled with humongous trees that had 14 apples on them, bushes covered with blue berries some had spike’s sharp spike’s so people can't touch them. Christy had blue eyes; short blond hair and she had light skin. She went deeper into the forest and saw an apple on a bush it looked hard and green she ate it; her face went bubbly and she turned into a green ugly witch with a pointy nose. She walked by the cliff it was a long fall if you were to fall down, it would take 100 years, is her guess. So christy dashed all the way down the hill and came to the beach down by the beach, there were people relaxing, they were almost sunburned and they were all red. They all turned and said ‘WITCH AHHHHHHHH’ in a terrible fright and all ran away. She then went by the water and started splashing and saying ‘I hate being a witch’ in a ugly cranky voice. But something changed, her voice and so did her hands she said ‘that’s weird I'm sure my hands were green’ in a nice smooth voice. She then went for a dive and stayed under there for five or fifteen minutes. Back at home her mum was calling ‘christy where are you it’s lunch time, pancake's christy’ but christy didn't come she was still swimming so she could break the curse. By the time she came out of the sparkly water she turned back, she sprinted home and hugged mum THE END.